November 15, 2013


A friend of mine told me the other day “You are not meant to be in one place for too long” and it got me thinking. Whether it’s true or not that I’m “meant” to live a life of constant change, she really hit the nail on the head when she realized that I can’t seem to commit to any one thing for long.

I couldn’t tell you the exact moment I realized I was a creature that craved, thrived, and required constant change (did you see last week’s thought full moment? I’m an impatient mess!), but I’ve always been a bit of a wanderer. With friends, hobbies, career choices, I’ve always found myself shifting from one focus to the next without any hesitation. Some may call it fickle. Others may call it adaptable. And, still, many other others (is their such a grouping?) may call me a jackie-of-all trades. But, if I’m honest with myself and with you, I simply call it frustrating.

I often look around me, at my family, friends, colleagues and counterparts, and think about how content and pleasant their lives look – pursuing careers in singular fields, heading down the typical paths of marriage and babies, and living in the traditional scheme of things. (Then again, in the realm of social media, aren’t we all able to “create” and “showcase” the life of our dreams?) I’ll admit, I let it all get to me at times…well…most of the time. I think we can all relate.

So what’s a commitment-phobe to do when she can’t quite seem to commit to any single solution?

Avoid all solutions and jump into a completely new project, logically. (So I’m still working on it.)

Yes, being a commitment-phobe can be a lonely, confusing, and unfocused existence, but in an effort to find the silver-lining in all of my quirks (see, I didn’t even say “flaws”) it can also be invigorating, adventurous and oh-so entertaining. My innate curiosity and eagerness to see, taste, feel, smell, hear, and experience the world around me keeps me motivated and pushing forward with new goals, dreams and aspirations.

I’d never wish a wanderlust personality on anyone. It’s frustrating and unnerving 97.5% of the time. But I can honestly say that the additional 3% often leads to some truly magical journeys. And I’m pretty sure that the extra .5% is just a hint of commitment trying to push its way through.

Do you consider yourself a commitment-phobe? How do you deal with your ever-wandering, curious, change-seeking mind? All advice and insight welcome/needed.

I hope it’s a thought full weekend for everyone.




  • Melissa S.

    I seem to have a combination of curiosity commitment. I want to learn and explore all kinds of new things and new places, but I don’t want to just skim the surface or dabble — I want to master those things and places before finally moving on.

    It’s practically impossible to do that. There aren’t enough years in a lifetime for me to master all the hobbies, become fluent in all the languages, and become nearly a native in all the countries.

    So I must be satisfied with dabbling. And I say that there’s nothing wrong with desiring to constantly learn and explore new things. If you have the opportunity, you should take it. Why is the traditional way the “right” way to do things anyway?

    • stephanie

      Excellent advice. I’m a definite dabbler too. Like a kid who has to try every flavor of ice cream, and then pile each one on a cone…just can’t choose!


    […] percolate and formulate before jumping in. It’s an interesting approach for someone who is so impatient, but I think it will do wonders for my productivity, creativity and, ultimately, my […]

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